Do I Love God? Really.

Do I love God? Lately this question has been on my mind and one I can not ignore, and let me tell you I have tried. It just keeps coming back. During high school I met so many hypocritical Christians and I told myself that I wouldn't be like them, but am I just fooling myself? Am I just a Christian on the outside saying I love God but on the inside I am just as self serving and proud as every other person? I guess it all comes down to the question  "Do I love God?" Because if I do then all other things don't matter. God can work with my heart with things like pride and selfishness but I have to be able to let Him. 

I am in a bible study with 4 other girls from my middle school (pretty awesome that we have stayed friends right?) and the last time we got together there was one specific moment that God used to speak right to my heart about this question. One part in the study was "what do you love?" and we had to write down something or someone we love that is in our lives; we couldn't use the Sunday school answer and say Jesus. I wrote down "deep conversations with people"..I know cheesy right? But it was my mother's answer that struck me. (yes my mom is our bible study leader, but before you go judging, she's awesome so it works). She wrote down "my back deck". We all had a chuckle over that, and she was the first to admit that it sounded shallow. But then the next question in the study was "how do people know you love it?". She responded with "I spend time there."

Even though it was something trivial like her back porch, her time spent is an indicator of her passion towards it. Which leads me to the ultimate question,

[By that standard, do I love God?]

I can talk all day about my passion for Christ but is my life is evident of that by the time I spend in His Word and in prayer?  Or do I love something more than Him? If my time is an indicator then I will be the first to say that I love a lot of things more than Him.

I think that was God's answer to my question. Not enough. I might love Christ but not enough that it takes precedent over other things in my life. Even twitter takes up more time in one day then the time I spend with God. How backwards is that!