True Definition of Greatness

In church we are going through the book of Nehemiah; we just started last week with the first couple verses giving the background of the book. I will give a short synopsis here for all of you who aren't familiar:

The Isrealites were very stubborn and weren't listening to God and becoming sinful despite God's warnings, so they were taken over by a neighboring nation and their holy city was left in flames while they were taken away to exile. They were in exile for quite some time when Nehemiah came into the picture and he worked his way up to being the King's cup bearer. Finally he was able to ask the King to go back to Jerusalem and rebuild the city, and the King, his captor, said yes.

My pastor said something that really stuck with me. For Nehemiah to be the cup bearer was an incredible honor and he had to be the best in the nation at growing and picking wines. Because of his GREATNESS he was in a position to ask the King to rebuild the city. So be great at what you do. But I had trouble with this. What if I'm not great? What do I do then?
Since last Sunday I have had kind of a feeling of inadequacy, feeling like I wasn't great at anything and I can't be used for God. But silly me I didn't actually go to God with this. Finally this morning I decided to sit down and pray about it and see what God had to say. I came across Romans 9:16-17

It does not therefore depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. The scripture said to Pharoh, "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth."

 I could try my whole life to be great at something but it would get me nowhere if it wasn't God's place for me. It is not by my works that my worth is defined but by His. But then that left me with another question, "Does that mean You won't use me because currently I am not great?" And I really felt him saying to me to wait, that his power will be shown through me.
So after that I was kinda feeling up in the sky, like "oh God said I would be great in life, awesome!" But then I read further...Romans 9:21

Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?

Well that kinda stung.
I realized that my definition of greatness was so off base from God's. I really felt him saying that I needed to fix my priorities, that I can't just mask my want for fame and fortune by saying oh I'm doing it for you Lord. Whether famous or not, God has called me to a specific purpose and in His eyes, if my focus is on Him I will always be great.

Rain rain go away...wait no stay!

I love rain and today's forecast? All rain!

Why do I love rain? Because it gives me an excuse to sit inside and read...i'm a major nerd when it comes to reading. Actually I am pretty much a nerd when it comes to anything really. But todays agenda isn't reading, it is something better, blogging! I get to work on my blog for a couple hours and that makes me pretty happy. Maybe I'll even make some coffee to make this day perfect. 

Okay I am way too excited over a day of pretty much nothing, but my heart has definitely been needing some peace and quiet just to pull itself back together. I think later today I will blog about whats been going on between me and God lately, it's quite the epic. 

Make sure to subscribe to my blog on the right and you will make my day even better!

Music, Bands & Concerts

So it's summerfest time here in Milwaukee! And FUN. came so of course I went last night!
I realized something though...concerts really aren't my thing. Sure I like them, especially when it's a good band playing but I am not like everyone else who lives for this time in the summer.

Things I dont like about concerts:
Seeing people I know (anitsocial Laura is coming out)
smelling weed all concert
getting beer spilled on me
loud noises
the mass amounts of [drunk] people

Things I like:
Going with friends (social Laura, yay!)
obviously the music
....that's pretty much it

So it takes a lot for the things I like to outweigh the things I dont. Last night was one of those nights! I love fun. and so does Katie, one of my really good friends, so we went with a couple of her friends, who turned out to be really cool.

Coolest part of the evening?
GETTING A FOOT AWAY FROM NATE RUESS (the lead singer)...A FOOT!
Yes we did have to sprint across the arena to get to being that close but it was worth it, although I froze and didn't think to yell his name...but next time I guess.

All in all I had a good night but it was tiring; the people, the lights, the noises makes for one exhausted me.

The list of 5 bands that I would actually go to their conert:
1.FUN. (obviously)








2. Mat Kearney (saw him last year)....he is my true obsession







3. Mumford and Sons (seeing them this September)












4. NEEDTOBREATHE

5.All Sons & Daughters (such beautiful voices it is crazy)











Wow I never realized that I was so sexist with my music! Only one woman in the whole bunch. Oh well what can you do.

I wish I could...[fill in the blank]

There are many things I wish I could do. I wish I could sing, I wish I could sew so I could make my own clothes, I wish I could skydive (I am afraid of heights), I wish I could buy regular length pants (short people problems)...the list goes on and on. My newest addition to the "wish list" is....
"I wish I could do...
((drum roll please))
graphic design."
Getting into this whole blog thing is cool and all but I have so many ideas in my head for my blog and its design but I have absolutely no way of executing them! I have been trying to figure out a cute way for you all to subscribe via email to my blog for days now...what have I come up with? nothing.
So do I just give up and settle for a regular blog? Absolutely not.
I went to the handy dandy library (I know I am probably the only one who still uses the library on a regular basis but hey I like books and don't actually want to pay for them) and I checked out 5 books on graphic design for dummies, and also a couple books of html coding (nerdy I know).
This might be like my water coloring phase, which lasted all of 3 days but you never know!
You will be the first to find out, and don't judge me, I can't guarantee genius on the first run!

but seriously, how cool are these?

(no i did not make these...i wish)

Do I Love God? Really.

Do I love God? Lately this question has been on my mind and one I can not ignore, and let me tell you I have tried. It just keeps coming back. During high school I met so many hypocritical Christians and I told myself that I wouldn't be like them, but am I just fooling myself? Am I just a Christian on the outside saying I love God but on the inside I am just as self serving and proud as every other person? I guess it all comes down to the question  "Do I love God?" Because if I do then all other things don't matter. God can work with my heart with things like pride and selfishness but I have to be able to let Him. 

I am in a bible study with 4 other girls from my middle school (pretty awesome that we have stayed friends right?) and the last time we got together there was one specific moment that God used to speak right to my heart about this question. One part in the study was "what do you love?" and we had to write down something or someone we love that is in our lives; we couldn't use the Sunday school answer and say Jesus. I wrote down "deep conversations with people"..I know cheesy right? But it was my mother's answer that struck me. (yes my mom is our bible study leader, but before you go judging, she's awesome so it works). She wrote down "my back deck". We all had a chuckle over that, and she was the first to admit that it sounded shallow. But then the next question in the study was "how do people know you love it?". She responded with "I spend time there."

Even though it was something trivial like her back porch, her time spent is an indicator of her passion towards it. Which leads me to the ultimate question,

[By that standard, do I love God?]

I can talk all day about my passion for Christ but is my life is evident of that by the time I spend in His Word and in prayer?  Or do I love something more than Him? If my time is an indicator then I will be the first to say that I love a lot of things more than Him.

I think that was God's answer to my question. Not enough. I might love Christ but not enough that it takes precedent over other things in my life. Even twitter takes up more time in one day then the time I spend with God. How backwards is that!

Remember when

Remember when...

Its funny how some of the best stories begin with the simple phrase "remember when".

How a life can be summed up by just a retelling of "remember when" moments, yet somehow they can string together and become such a beautiful expression of a life. A life of simple adventures, moments in time that are forever cemented in ones mind.

And the most amazing thing about it in my opinion? That the small things can end up making the sweetest "remember when" stories years down the road.

These are my "remember when" moments in the making.

Let's make something beautiful.